One single truth...I know this should be intuitive, but I need to be reminded again that no amount of filter can cover your personality as in no amount of conversations and discussions to change me can actually change my personality.
So...a couple of weeks ago, I met someone by chance. We started talking just simple mundane things...but during the last 1 week, we discussed lots and lots of things...
I realized something...his success both in his career and life in general are coming from his adept talking. He could just mingle and be your best friend in a sec.
He can also be a pain in the a* whenever he wants to.
He can win an argument (even if he's wrong) just by talking quick and attack people with his rambling.
He really likes to get heard.
I realized that he never actually cared of what other people was saying because of how he cut me off mid sentence.
He has this belief that he can read people. Some sort of psychic powers. He says he can easily sense when people have bad intentions, so he can filter the good from the bad.
He has this crazy ample amount of confidence despite sometimes his arguments are weak.
And he always wants to feel special, needed, wanted like anyone depends on him.
Oh..his mouth is something else.
The words that come out of his mouth are deadly.
I still to this day...right at this minute feels like or keeps asking...
"How can someone act like that?"
"Does he have a feeling?"
"How come he comments people with those degrading remarks?"
"How come you feel powerful by hurting people with your words?"
"Aren't you scared of getting dead because those people might kill you?"
"Don't you realize what you said to me was like you belittle me?"
"Why do you always need to show off every time you talk to me?"
And many other questions...(pardon my sensitivity)
Well...to be fair I learned a couple of things from him too:
#1 Words are powerful. The way you convey things can really determine the outcome of the things you
#2 Sometimes being mean is needed in order to uphold justice. Or in order to be professional you have to
turn off your sensitivity and just be as logic as possible.
#3 Your constant preaching to me cannot change or even influence my personality. What it does is it
helps me to re-frame the way I think and see things. The way I carry myself in the world.
To this moment, I still really want to explain this one concept that he has wrong, but every time I'm trying to, he always gives me that smile...it's almost like a smirk saying..."Geez, don't even start talking, I'm way smarter than you are."
To be honest, there are so many things that I don't even care. He talks to me a bunch of stuff as if they matter to me, while the truth is they only matter to him because it's about him and how boastful he is.
This one encounter to him again reminds me that there are actually people like him. I thought prior to meeting him that I had it worse with two previous people, but he is in another level - a whole new level of...insensitivity.
But again, this is relative. I know for him or for the two people that I met previously, I know for them what they do is completely normal. And we are - me to be exact is the weird one because I feel too much.
I'm sorry I have a mood swing currently.
Usually on days like this...
Sitting down and writing are two my fav remedies.
I could change from a real sad mood to this crazy dancing mood.
Ha ha ha...
Sometimes life is funny.
I can't exactly put how funny it can be.
If this is a book, this is the front cover.
If this is a song, this is the first few verses.
If this is a conversation, this is just the "Hi".
If this is an exam, this is the number one.
If this is a name, then this is "Sagi".
And if this is a feeling, then I'll end it here because there's too much feelings to pour here...and some of them are not to be published and needed to stay behind closed doors where only me and myself who know them.
So till then...
~ Peace out, beautiful humans ~